"If Only I..." - 3 Words That Are Killing You and I
Some days it’s not easy for me to go to bed at night. There’s a lot to think about in my life and let’s be honest, me having surfed through my Facebook newsfeed about an hour before it’s time to get some shut-eye doesn’t really help. In fact, it’s probably the worst thing to do before bed.
This is why: thoughts start flooding my mind and they often go like this: “Let me schedule a quick Facebook update about my music before I forget… (instantly distracted) wow, I see that so-and-so has a new boyfriend… wait, how did she get a boyfriend and I still don’t have one?… wait.. do I even really want a boyfriend?… I’m totally fine doing life right now by myself.. in fact I want to… I think… check this chick out… how is her makeup so flawless??… ugh, I wish my skin was clearer… if only I … ”
“If only I...” — three words that are killing us. No matter what these words are followed by , they often degrade the beauty that we behold and degrade the very God we’re made in the image of. They are words that scream “I am not good enough as I am” and “my contentment/happiness/joy is dependent on something I don’t have”.
“If only I” insinuates that you’ll only be content when something is different in your life or different about you. But is this true? Can being thinner and having clearer skin make you happy? Can having a new car bring you the joy you’re without? Will gaining a significant other lift the depression you’re going through? You might think that the thing you obsess over attaining is going to make you happy, but can I be honest with you??
It won’t.
That’s right. I said it and I won’t take it back. It absolutely WON’T make you happy. If you don’t have happiness, contentment and joy at this very moment, you won’t have it when you achieve what you’re obsessing over. In fact, you will never have any of those things until you realize that you are beautiful as is (Psalm 45:11) and that GOD IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AS IS (Psalm 139).
If you’re like me, you’d probably reply with an answer like: “That’s all great and stuff, but how do I really even begin to believe something like that? After all, I still feel as if I don't measure up and am not good enough… everyone else seems to have it together. Believing something like that just doesn’t seem real.”
Well, here are two actions that go hand-and-hand that I'm reminding myself (and you if you need it) that I need to do constantly to overcome the "If only I.." state of mind:
(1) Kill Comparison - We need to refuse to compare ourselves to others’ best photoshopped and most obnoxious bragging moments on Facebook. Point blank. It's simple. Comparison is a killer and it’s killing our love for ourselves , as well as our passion for God. KILL COMPARISON before it kills you.
How do you kill it? Read number 2.
(2) Get A New Mirror - Find yourself a new standard for your mirror. For many of us, our standard of who we should be has been found in social media, the opinions of others and the trendiest magazines. Unfortunately, these mediums are extremely distorted and unjust to who we are created to be. Get a better standard that is more accurate. The best standard is the word of God. In fact, the bible says itself that it is a mirror in James 1:23-24 -
"For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.…”
Let's start a revolution and be the people who are more focused on who God says we are and what we should be doing. After all, the reality of true joy and contentment is found in Jesus, our God alive in the flesh, and all he is. If you have a problem or insecurity, Jesus is more than able to help you overcome it.
At the end of the day, we have got to refuse to partake in unhealthy comparison. Good comparison = us comparing ourselves to the way Jesus sees us. He sees us each as tremendously valuable gems and worth so much more than we often understand. When we get that revelation, there's no more late nights wrestling with our nasty thoughts needed. All that's left to inherit is peace, contentment and much-much joy!
I hope a little of my honesty before I hit the sack tonight creates in you a fire to be who you are made to be.
Lots of love from me to you,
Martay
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