Humility's Voice

I’m sitting in my tourmate’s kitchen in Bakersfield, CA, while many of us talk about humility--- what it looks like, if anything… and how you truly have to judge one’s humility by the condition of their heart. All I can do while thinking of humility is thank God for the times in which he has humbled me and brought me closer to him. While growing up I’d always dream of establishing my identity through a reality of music, touring and stages... everything that had nothing to do with a lowly, contrite spirit. It’s funny how God sometimes takes what’s not right in us and delicately removes it over time. Now that I am finally doing the ministry that God intended for me to do at this time (touring musically, reflecting love from city to city, and simply SERVING God) I come to find that I no longer desire to find my identity through a music ministry or anything that has the potential to pass away.

 I was reminded of this the other day while in Florida at the urban conference called “FlavorFest”. I was walking down the street towards my hotel, which was a few blocks away, while I was seriously doubting the fact that I hear God’s voice. I know I’ve heard his voice before, but yet was in a position in which I was questioning him once more. Man- did he have proof to make me believe again. As I was walking I heard my ‘conscience’ say, “Knock on that truck’s window and ask if they need prayer.” Feeling awkward, I forced myself to obey the voice. Knocking on the window and entering a tense conversation, I asked if everything was ok and if I could pray for these three people (a mother and daughter and what seemed to be the mom’s boyfriend). They said yes to hurry me along and so I said the shortest two sentence prayer I could muster. Feeling completely stupid and as if I failed to do the task right, I continued walking. Passing an ice cream store, I suddenly felt an urge to go in (not beyond my typical behavior. Sporadic Ice cream stops every once and a while soothe the soul in my mind. Lol) and so I did. I got a scoop of the Halloween ice cream and went to walk out the door; just then, I heard that voice again. “Stay”, it said. Feeling crazy and frustrated, I gave up and mustered under my breath, “Fine God. If that’s you, I’ll stay” and sat down at a table.

After about 5 minutes, the same lady from the truck that I prayed for came walking into the store and walked right up to me. Thinking she was somehow angry with me, all I could do was simply smile. Then she said, “You know what? I was battling between right and wrong. You just helped me to choose what’s right. You changed my life today and I’m going home.” Totally blown away at what I was hearing, all I could do was ask her name and hug her. After our exchange she reached in her pocket and said God told her to give me money. By no mistake, it was enough money to check my bags onto the plane ride home and pay for my hotel. Just when I thought I’d need to call and ask for a bail out from family, God used me to change someone’s life and provided for me at the same time.

Do I hear God’s voice? Yes.

Will I question this fact again? Prayerfully, no.

John 10:27- “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me"

No matter what you feel or believe. I pray you know God and come to follow Him with all that's inside you. I'm at the point in my life where this is all I want to bring myself to do. I hope this post encouraged you like it did me while writing it.

I love you all like a fat kid loves cake,

Martay